You are enough…

Recently I have been offered some great opportunities including getting to perform as part of Music NB’s “NB at Home” concert series, and the National Arts Centre’s “Canada Performs” series.  These are both great opportunities to reach a larger audience, and are actually paid performances, which is rare in these days of performing online!

I was very excited about these opportunities and had worried about whether or not just my fiddle would be enough to hold people’s interest since I usually perform with at least a guitarist.  I got out my looping pedal so I could add harmony to myself, and had talked to my recording engineer about getting the guitar tracks from the album so I could play along.  I wanted to make my sound as big and full as possible.

This past weekend I did the first of these two shows.  I performed for Music NB in their “NB at Home” series.  The internet did not cooperate, and I got out of time from my looping pedal on the very first piece.  All through the show the internet would periodically disconnect and audience members would comment about how our video had stopped for them, or it was not good quality.  My husband (who had joined me on bodhran) and I played very well, kept smiles on our faces, and persisted through all of the tech issues.

Now, as you know, I have been doing Facebook live shows for four years now.  I know how the tech works, and for the most part, it works quite well.  I figure that the issue right now is that there are so many people online working from home, going to church from home, meeting up with family that the system just can’t handle it all, and sometimes it is glitchy. 

Having said that, it was a very frustrating experience with lots of tears once we were done.  Here was a chance to be in front of more people than usual, and it was ruined by the internet.

Now, having had a couple of days to think about it, this is just another story for the “bad gigs that I have done” tales of my life (some day I will tell you about the gig where they were literally taking the banner down behind me as I performed)…  We all have gigs that don’t go well.

My real takeaway from this experience is that the universe was whispering in my ear “you are enough as you are…” 

The next Facbebook live that I do will be me and my fiddle…  No looping pedal, no guitar tracks, possibly even no husband.  Just me and my fiddle because we are enough.  I don’t have to pretend to be more, I don’t have to worry about filling out my sound, I just need to do what I do best, and that is play the fiddle with great tone and precision.  That is what has garnered me support, fans, and these performance opportunities.

I wanted to share this with you because I would like you to know that the universe has the same message for you.  You are enough as you are…